As a person who prides herself for being a chatter box, I do find certain topics a buzzkill for me. Every time when someone gets into those topics, I lose all interest and only annoyance would arise. One of them is parenting.
I don’t hate kids, but I am not fond of them either. I’d be more interested in talking about dogs. I love playing with my niece when she is not in a spoiled brat mode, and she LOVES me, but I cannot stand parents who have nothing to talk about but their kids.
Over the past 10 years helicopter parenting has gotten huge in Hong Kong. Parents would get baptized, relocate, read study guides, learn French and buy expensive interview outfits just to get their three-year-olds into one of these prestigious schools so that their children can befriend with the “right people”.
Those kids often have resumes more impressive than ours. By the age of five, they would have learned the piano, skiing, equestrian, commercial piloting, Dutch and not to forget won an Olympic gold medal already. When you talk to those kids, you’d realize their lines are always so well rehearsed or they are junior snobs in training. They are not kids anymore!
I love teaching, and thank god I taught teenagers. Teenagers are so much more fun, and like me, they cant wait to get their parents off their backs either.
If you check out those “monster parents” facebook pages, don’t be surprised by all those bragging. The Internet has become a tool for them to show off their (kids’) accomplishments. Often you’d find a mother expressing how “sad” she is because her daughter only gets second in class. A coworker of my mom is exactly like that. My poor mom has to listen to her rants on how another mom said something mean about her on Facebook because she is jealous of her daughter for getting into a better school than her son. Forget about who’s jealous of jealous. You get the point.
The twisted parenting cultural in HK has made me so repulsive to the notion of having kids. It seems like if you want your kids to excel in life, that’s the only way to go. If you don’t push your kids, you are doing them a disadvantage in the future.
I don’t want to become a parent like that. I love having my independence and keeping my options open to things in life. I wanna be a able to get a PhD when I want it.
The most unfortunate thing is, being the perfectionist I am, I know that I will very likely fall into the same pattern if i ever get kids. I can already imagine myself say, “You only got a B? Mrs Chan’s daughter got an A! Look at you! You are wasting my money sending you to tutorial school! When I was in school I had a 4.0 GPA! I don’t even know if they got me the wrong baby at the hospital!”
I should never have kids.