She fell, but she didn’t fail

I wrote a little prequel to Florid Eyes: A Novel. I think it will help readers understand  what our heroine Violet had been through before she met our hero Josh.

~ ~ ~

Violet is heartbroken. It doesn’t make any sense to her. How could it go south like that overnight? How could she be so blinded? Was she wearing this rose-colored glasses all along? How could she ever trust her instinct again? She thought he was different. He told her she was different. She thought after so many frustrating attempts, life finally showed mercy and let her bump into him. She thought she was finally getting one of those meet cute moments. How is she to believe that it was all nothing? It was all in her head?

Violet is mad, disappointed, humiliated, sad, and deflated. This is just another debacle. She was so close. She was happy she was finally able to love again. She thought all the lessons were paying off. She thought things were falling into places because she is so much more grown up now. She lets her tears flow. She wants to feel better and hopes her tears can purge away her sorrow. It’s not weak to cry, she tells herself, but she won’t let him see that. She won’t let him have the last laugh.

She keeps revisiting the past and tries to think of what went wrong, what she could have done differently. She is certain the answer is no unless she could just go back in time and unlove him. There is nothing she has done wrong. She did everything she was supposed to do. She might have come off a little too forward, but she is what she is. She isn’t one of those who plays hard to get. She is direct, honest, confident and passionate. She couldn’t change that. She followed her heart and she would still follow her heart if she could do it again.

If there is nothing wrong on her part, there has to be something wrong on his part.

She then realizes it is him who has a problem with love. He even said it himself. “It’s not you. It’s me.” It really is him, not her.

She dries her tears and dusts her knees. She gets up. She knows she will be alright. She fell, but she didn’t fail. As long as she still has hopes, as long as she still believes in love, as long as she still wants to love and be loved, she still has a far better chance of being united with the one meant for her. She will not let this break her. She will learn from this experience. She will smile again.

With a wounded heart, she begins to walk away. Each step causes more pain than just sitting there, but she knows she has to walk away because her destiny is elsewhere. The more she puts off walking away, the longer she has to wait until she could meet the one truly for her.

We all know he’s out there even though he doesn’t know he’s been waiting for her all along.

~ ~ ~


About Nicky

Nicky English is a journalist, an educator, a podcaster, a couch potato, a dreamer, and a child at heart. Learning is her passion, so is the English language, which she believes is the tool to unlock the door of knowledge. Born in Hong Kong, she received intensive writing training at The University of Iowa, where she double-majored in journalism and political science. Apart from the Hawkeye State, she’s lived in Chicago and Philadelphia. When she was a guest student at Georgetown University, she fell in love with Washington, D.C. She also has a Master of Arts in Communication. A little side note—she cannot imagine a world without her Mac and iDevices. Like many crazy ones, she hopes to change the world one day at a time.
This entry was posted in Florid Eyes: A Novel and tagged , , , , , . Bookmark the permalink.

2 Responses to She fell, but she didn’t fail

  1. joseasanoj says:

    Good Posts..
    Sanoj Jose (Author, My Day Out With An Angel)

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