I went to a dinner hosted by a friend tonight, and there happened to be a guy I met once months ago. We don’t even remember each other’s name. We’re not even Facebook friends. We’re at most just acquaintances. However, for some idiotic reason, he thought it was appropriate to make a very cruel comment about my appearance at the start of the dinner. I didn’t know what made him say that. I took me by surprise, and I just stared at him with my eyes wide open. Our mutual friend was shocked and diverted the conversation to something else to end the awkward silence. I remained my composure, but I barely looked at him or responded to anything he said for the remaining of the night.
Perhaps I didn’t make anger clear enough, or that he thought making fun of the appearance of a woman was amusing. When we were leaving the restaurant, he had the balls to repeat the same comment to me again! I didn’t make a scene because I don’t like to lose my cool in front of strangers like that, but I calmly told him to shut up and leave me alone.
On my way home, I kept thinking what guy in his right mind would think openly criticizing a woman’s appearance is an appropriate thing to do. I bitched to my best guy friends immediately. Like protective brothers, they just assured me I looked fine and that guy was just a jerk who didn’t know what he was talking about. One of them suggested that some guys like to challenge women to show their superiority. It got me thinking, Does he expect any positive result to come out from his mean comments? As if I’d bow at his pathetic feet because he didn’t think I was pretty enough? Why would I want to be friends with a guy who thinks I wasn’t pretty enough?
I went to a girls’ high school, so growing up I didn’t get to experience that “guys make fun of girls they like” thing. I didn’t get to have interactions with men until my late teens. By then most guys have already learned when to bite their tongues. That’s why this behavior sounds very juvenile to me. I’m not implying that guy likes me or anything, but if he truly thinks making fun of a woman he just met would get her to befriend him, he is wrong. In fact, I just unfriended another guy on Facebook who likes to make smartass comments on my statuses.
I do have friends who like to make jokes, sometimes about me, sometimes about other friends. I don’t particularly enjoy being made fun of. I’d throw a fist at them playfully and tell them, “Screw you!” and then I’d resume our conversations. The difference between those friends and the guys I just mentioned is the depth of our friendships. It’s okay to crack jokes with people you’re close to, whose temperaments you understand well, so you know how far you can go. More importantly, friends make fun of EACH OTHER. Friends make fun of themselves. They don’t just abuse ONE person. That’s bullying. Those jerks that I mentioned above have seen me like once or twice and we’ve spoken for at most a minute. I don’t understand what made them think they could take the liberty to make jokes at my expense. They are children, not men.
Real men know how to make women laugh, not to laugh at women.