I forgive you for hurting me

Dear You,

For a while I didn’t understand how it happened, how my heart could have been so wrong about you. I asked myself how I could ever listen to my heart again. I was angry at you for setting me up for some game that I had no intention of playing. I was angry at myself for thinking I was special to you, that you would never hurt me. I was so wrong to not believe that you were capable of deliberately trying to destroy me.

I was mad at you and myself. For a brief, brief moment, I regretted ever opening my heart to you. I had to constantly tell myself one day I’d be glad I did because everything happens for a reason. I got myself together and didn’t let you ruin my faith in life. I waited patiently for the day when things began to make sense.

As I was waiting, things started to change, life took me to places I never thought I would ever go to. For some time, I thought what we had was a waste of time and energy, that life just pulled a prank on me. I was ready to believe my heart was stupid and my judgement was wrong until the day finally came–the day when things began to make sense.

I had this epiphany: If it weren’t for you, I wouldn’t be in the position I am now. If I weren’t in this position, I wouldn’t have the chance to fight for what I want, let alone succeeding. Looking back, I guess I partially owe my happiness to you.

You never apologized for the way you treated me. You didn’t show any remorse. You probably don’t deserve forgiveness. I forgive you even though you tried to tear me down. You just didn’t know better. You thought I was your average girl. Trying to destroy me only made me stronger, happier and better. It steered me to the place I truly belong.

My heart was right all along, just not in the way I had imagined. I will always, always listen to my heart no matter what.

Nicky

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About Nicky

Nicky English is a journalist, an educator, a podcaster, a couch potato, a dreamer, and a child at heart. Learning is her passion, so is the English language, which she believes is the tool to unlock the door of knowledge. Born in Hong Kong, she received intensive writing training at The University of Iowa, where she double-majored in journalism and political science. Apart from the Hawkeye State, she’s lived in Chicago and Philadelphia. When she was a guest student at Georgetown University, she fell in love with Washington, D.C. She also has a Master of Arts in Communication. A little side note—she cannot imagine a world without her Mac and iDevices. Like many crazy ones, she hopes to change the world one day at a time.
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