I was a prophet and a therapist

Ever since I finished writing Florid Eyes: A Novel last year, I’ve considered my heroine Violet to be the woman I strive to be. She always does that right thing. She is the strongest yet most realistic fictional heroine I’ve encountered. Best thing of all, I know how she thinks and operate because I’m her creator. It used to be that when I faced any dilemma in life, I would ask, “What would Steve Jobs do?” Now I also ask, “What would Violet do?” Cuz Violet always knows best.

I have been really stressed out by my scholarship application lately, and I have been in and out of my freakout cycle. After chatting with everyone around me obsessively about how my life would be over if I didn’t get this, I’ve decided the best way to calm myself down is to seek help from Violet. As always, I wrote a letter to myself on behalf of “Violet”. It really soothed my mind. It was a very effective therapy session. 

Out of curiosity, I looked up old letters that “Violet” wrote for me in the past year. I was surprised at how many of my/her predictions have come true. I have almost forgotten how down I felt and how I exactly I have helped myself to move on. I remember all I had was hope, which was an important part of Violet’s character. I didn’t know when things would get better, I just believed it eventually would, and it did. 

Here are some excerpts from her letters.

“Being strong makes you beautiful inside and out. Not everyone will recognize how amazing strong women are in a culture that glories airheads. I didn’t get recognized by every guy I met, but you only need the right ONE.”


“Remember what we’ve learned about rejections? Just that you are rejected doesn’t mean you’re not good enough. Remember you’re special, and it takes a very special someone to be able to appreciate something so special like you.”


“It may really suck now, but don’t become cynical and bitter. Don’t lose faith in life and love. If you do, they win. Like with your acceptance, when you finally succeed one day, when you finally find your true love, you’ll know all these pain and hurt are intended to make your story more worth telling. What is Steve Jobs’ story without the firing by Apple?”

“Keep making yourself better. Keep preparing yourself to be the person who deserve a guy like Josh. You need to be broken, be stripped from your pride, to know what it is like to be deprived of something that you want, to learn how to appreciate it when you do score the one.”

I took Violet’s advice. I waited patiently and continued working on myself until one day he walked into my life. Life was good. He just made it better. 🙂

About Nicky

Nicky English is a journalist, an educator, a podcaster, a couch potato, a dreamer, and a child at heart. Learning is her passion, so is the English language, which she believes is the tool to unlock the door of knowledge. Born in Hong Kong, she received intensive writing training at The University of Iowa, where she double-majored in journalism and political science. Apart from the Hawkeye State, she’s lived in Chicago and Philadelphia. When she was a guest student at Georgetown University, she fell in love with Washington, D.C. She also has a Master of Arts in Communication. A little side note—she cannot imagine a world without her Mac and iDevices. Like many crazy ones, she hopes to change the world one day at a time.
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