Hey little fighter, soon it will be brighter

I need to write because I’m experiencing the darkest time line since I’ve moved to Auckland. I had been so happy and excited about my new life every day for the the past 3 months until last week. I thought I was getting a hang of stop worrying and start living, but then when my first major problem (money) came up, I just couldn’t get over it. I’ve been worrying and stressing about it since then.

There is no rational reason why I’m so stressed to the point I started developing tonsillitis again (which always strikes at my lowest). There are cool and exciting things happening to me, like how my supervisors thought I was doing a great job and how I am getting to write two academic book reviews for an Australian journal, but I couldn’t keep my excitement going for more than two hours. t know I have enough savings to last a VERY GOOD WHILE. I even have occasional, but irregular freelance jobs from Hong Kong coming in, but I just can’t stop worrying about this and that and the future.

I started rethinking about the bad times I’ve had in the past. This can’t be any worse than when I was semi-fired by my bitch boss from hell. At least I’m living my dreams, doing something meaningful, making good friends, and dating a really nice guy, right?

I decided to go back to my old blog posts and examine how I dealt with bigger problems back then.

Turns out I’ve ALWAYS freaked out over tiny things and thought the world was gonna crush down on me, but things have ALWAYS ended up better after 14 days. I told myself back then I wouldn’t do anything drastically stupid until I’ve given myself 14 days to think about it. It has been 10 days since I got the bad news from school. I hope things will get better in the next four days…

As I kept thinking about how I overcame my past challenges and rejections, I came up with this four-step process:

  1. Blog about my feelings
  2. Write an encouraging letter to myself on behalf of Violet
  3. Read inspiration quotes like the title of this post
  4. Watch Steve Jobs’ Stanford commencement speech

I aim to repeat all these steps until I genuinely feel better.

About Nicky

Nicky English is a journalist, an educator, a podcaster, a couch potato, a dreamer, and a child at heart. Learning is her passion, so is the English language, which she believes is the tool to unlock the door of knowledge. Born in Hong Kong, she received intensive writing training at The University of Iowa, where she double-majored in journalism and political science. Apart from the Hawkeye State, she’s lived in Chicago and Philadelphia. When she was a guest student at Georgetown University, she fell in love with Washington, D.C. She also has a Master of Arts in Communication. A little side note—she cannot imagine a world without her Mac and iDevices. Like many crazy ones, she hopes to change the world one day at a time.
This entry was posted in Apple & gadgets, dream, identity crisis, motivation, Phd, writing and tagged , , . Bookmark the permalink.

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